Becoming Free: Letting My Hair Go Grey
/Letting My Hair Go Grey
This is an exciting change for me… although I have to admit, it’s a little nerve-racking, too! I’m letting my hair grow out naturally and embracing my grey. In many ways, this feels like an extension of what I believe in and promote at Nivali: aging gracefully, embracing who we are, and recognizing that beauty doesn’t disappear as we get older.
It’s been on my mind for the last few years, but I always thought turning 60 would be the time I’d finally embrace my natural grey. A few years ago, I was visiting some old school friends after we’d all turned 50. A couple of them had already let their hair go grey, and they looked absolutely smashing! We got talking, and I mentioned that one of my reasons for holding back was being in the beauty industry. They agreed and encouraged me not to go grey just yet!
Fast-forward four years, and I’m ready! I figured if I waited until 60, the change might be a little more shocking, so why not ease into it now? I officially started this journey in June!
Inspiration from My Nana
I certainly wasn’t waiting until I was 90 like my Nana! Her dark auburn hair honestly didn’t complement her peaches-and-cream complexion (God bless you, Nana!). After a fall forced her to let it grow out, even the in-between stage, with little red tips, looked rather funky. But once it was completely white, she looked so darn cute!
Nana always had fabulous style and was my dress-up Nana. My sister and I had so much fun exploring her closet as children!
How has your grandmother, or a special grandmother figure in your life, influenced the way you see beauty?
Thoughts on Looking Youthful As We Age
Let’s be honest. Most of us want to look good and feel youthful. And I believe youthfulness is about so much more than the number of candles on our birthday cake!
I have a dear friend, Laura, who was a client of mine when I owned my previous spa. She is now 86, and I can honestly say she is radiant, inside and out. Laura is full of wisdom and has been a wonderful role model to me. She has cared not only for her skin and body but, most importantly, for her spiritual well-being. She continues to grow as a loving human being, living authentically and nurturing her mind, emotions, and spiritual path.
Laura also shared that when she decided to let her hair grow out naturally, she needed that time to process the change internally, just as much as she needed the time for the grey to grow through. That is so true for me as well!
I recently saw a woman who I believe who was also in her eighties. Her face and soul seemed to glow through her beautiful smile and I was immediately drawn to her. She obviously made an effort to stay vibrant and engaged with life, and was absolutely beautiful. Her skin showed the natural signs of a life well lived, yet it is healthy, hydrated, and radiant.
It reminds me that beauty isn’t about having a wrinkle-free face. It’s about inner radiance, the light that shines through our eyes and smile, and the glow that comes from caring for ourselves from the inside out. And personally, I love smile lines! They tell a story.
Body, Mind, and Soul
Of course, good skincare plays an important role, but I believe how we care for ourselves goes far beyond what we put on our skin. I’ve always been drawn to the idea that how we age is influenced by both nature and nurture. While genetics play a role, our lifestyle, stress levels, sleep, nutrition, and the way we care for our bodies and minds also matter. For me, it’s about nurturing the whole person: body, mind, and soul.
The Journey of Letting Go
I haven’t chosen grey blending or lowlights. I’m simply allowing my natural hair colour to grow out, and I’m discovering that the evolution is much more emotional than I ever expected. It definitely takes time to process the changes on the inside!
My mind has been a little wild at times as I embrace each new glimpse of grey in the mirror. Some rather silly, self-deprecating thoughts have popped up along the way.
Will this affect my success in business? Will clients be less attracted to a woman with grey hair? Will I still feel attractive? What about finding a partner? Will I give up and go back to colouring it? I’ve gained a little weight, so will I end up feeling frumpy?
And maybe the silliest thought of all… do I need to start acting my age? Should I be more mature?
Good grief! Being silly, laughing, and not taking life too seriously are some of the things that help balance life’s stresses and turn those stress lines into happy lines! LOL.
One client shared something that really stuck with me. When she was single, she wanted to grow out her natural silver hair so that whoever she eventually met would love her for who she truly was. What a wise woman!
As I watch the grey gradually appear, I’m giving myself time to process what this change means to me. I’m learning to accept myself in a new way, while allowing others a little time to adjust, too.
For now, I’m rather loving my eye-of-the-tiger look. Very ‘80s gal, don’t you think?!
A Lesson From My Daughter
The comments and reactions have been interesting. Some people are quite direct: “You’re going to look old!” Well, maybe I will, but my skin will look young! LOL. Others say nothing until I bring it up, and then it opens the door to a really interesting conversation.
But one reaction that particularly stayed with me came from my daughter. When I first told her I was going to let my hair go grey, her response was immediate: “No, Mom! You can’t do that!”
A few months later, I called her and decided to FaceTime. She said, “I know you’re doing FaceTime to prepare me for your hair growing out!”
We hadn’t even been talking about my hair. I was simply calling because she was coming for a visit. In fact, I’d just finished an ocean dip and still had my toque on!
Later, she reminded me of something I had completely forgotten. “Do you remember when I was a little girl and you told me not to tell anyone that you coloured your hair?” I barely remembered saying that and hearing her bring it up made me stop and reflect on the message I may have unknowingly given her about beauty, appearance, and the importance of hiding our grey hair.
It really made me think about the things we unintentionally teach our children about beauty, aging, and the way we see ourselves. What an opportunity to rewrite that message with my daughter at this stage of life!
The Messages We Pass On
What messages do we pass on when we feel we need to hide our natural appearance? What does it teach younger generations when so much of the beauty industry revolves around removing wrinkles, lifting faces, and trying to turn back the clock?
And perhaps most importantly, what does it say to ourselves?
Please don’t misunderstand me. I believe in taking care of ourselves, investing in ourselves, and doing things that make us feel good. That’s what I get to do every day at Nivali for my clients!
But I also believe there is a difference between caring for ourselves and feeling that we must constantly change ourselves to be acceptable.
Becoming Free
My journey with going grey has brought up more thoughts and emotions than I expected. It’s made me reflect on freedom, self-acceptance, and what it means to grow into our wisdom years. And honestly, I’ve had quite a life, with many challenges from a very early age. I have earned EVERY. SINGLE. SILVER. HAIR. And – a little wisdom along with it!
I’m learning that embracing who we are is a process. It takes courage to let go of old expectations, especially when those expectations have been part of our identity for years. I want to celebrate all of who I am, including the parts that are changing. Perhaps becoming free means allowing ourselves to be seen as we truly are, without feeling the need to apologize for it.
And perhaps that’s one of the most beautiful things we can do as we age.
I’d love to know… have you ever made a change that seemed small on the outside but felt significant on the inside?
With a little grey and a lot of grace,
Charmaine xo